I’m here for feels, not looks

I am not very good with stats but I can share this with you: in the 11 days I’ve been in California, at least once a day, from people I’ve never met, I’ve heard variations of the following:

“You look fit.”
“You look really fit.”
“You’re obviously in great shape.”
gestures squeezing bicep “Your arms…”
points “Your legs…”
“Do you lift weights?”
Jesus Christ. [imagine me hiding my face in my palm]

Isn’t this SoCal?? Isn’t this one of the health & fitness centers of the world? “Functionally fit”, “athletic” or not, isn’t a “fit” looking person a normal thing here?

My response to ALL of these comments has been far from “thank you”…

I’ve actually felt caught off guard each time. A few times I’ve laughed and said, “Oh, it’s just an optical illusion.” Other times, “Yeah, I eat a lot of broccoli.” And every other time — just imagine an intense embodiment of the eye-roll emoji. (You know the one…)

I’m like, why are you judging me based on what you see??

Don’t you know my ability to THINK and FEEL DEEPLY is far more impressive than any toned muscle I have??!!

You wouldn’t go up to a cheetah and say, “You look so fit.” You would just know that that’s who & what they are.

Well listen up SoCal — I am my own animal.

Some things that impress me:
-Gracefully living your unique journey.
-Radiating warmth to those around you.
-Connecting deeply with others.
-Having the awareness to call yourself out on your own bullshit, own it, & DO something about it.

If you’ve ever talked to me in person or read my blog, you know what I am probably most impressed by:

The depth to which one can live their life.

You will NEVER be able to quantify this depth. Sounds simple, but it’s incredibly complex.

And, it’s okay. :)

It’s competing without competing — an entirely separate post for a different day.

Let me tell you something else—

I don’t blame anyone for judging anyone else (or thing — for that matter) based on appearance.

It simply adds fuel to one of the fires that I hope to enact change for.

I truly believe we can change the channel in which we communicate for the better. There are so many more words and thoughts that I want to share on this! But for right now, I’ll leave it there.

Some food for thought until next time…

“The meaning of a finite speaker’s discourse lies in what precedes its utterance, what is already the case and therefore is the case whether or not it is spoken.

The meaning of an infinite speaker’s discourse lies in what comes of its utterance — that is, whatever is the case because it is spoken.”
“Infinite speech does not expect the hearer to see what is already known to the speaker, but to share a vision the speaker could not have had without the response of the listener.”
— From “Finite and Infinite Games”

Happy Monday <3

PS: If you have any interest in me sharing my road trip thoughts… I’m contemplating releasing those babies into the wild (aka YouTube). Only with the intent to spark some good discussion! Just let me know.


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Cutting to the core

Real talk: at a certain point, it becomes easy to intellectualize feelings. It keeps a safe space between how you actually feel, and to what extent you’re willing to express that feeling. I want more cutting to the core of how I feel!... Continue →