“Yes, and ___.”
“Through spontaneity we are re-formed into ourselves. It creates an explosion that for the moment frees us from handed-down frames of reference, memory choked with old facts and information and undigested theories and techniques of other people’s findings. Spontaneity is the moment of personal freedom when we are faced with a reality and see it, explore it and act accordingly.”
– Viola Spolin, “Improvisation for the Theater”
My intention with this post really comes down to asking two questions:
- In comparison to things that are planned, how often do you say “yes”, on the spot, to things that are unplanned?
- For everything you say “yes” to, are you making an effort to contribute and add value?
Quick rewind, by now you should know that I’m a sucker for ALL THINGS related to logical vs. primal instincts. The tension between the two, the awareness of both sides, how and why the struggle exists both interpersonally and intrapersonally. It’s that Apollonian vs. Dionysian complex! It’s fascinating and it’s maddening, but through it all… AMOR FATI, DAMN IT.
I have wanted to address the idea of “Yes, and ___.” ever since I wrote a post on where we choose (or don’t choose) discomfort in order to grow. Much like making an intentional decision to engage in discomfort, I think YES, AND… can be equally beneficial for three reasons:
- It forces you to let go of what you can’t control
- It encourages play
- It demands accountability
Hold on, how did I learn about improv??…
Well, CrossFit isn’t the only cool thing that happened to me five years ago. It’s also when I started teaching! Long story short, 23-year-old “Professor Moss” was super anxious. I somehow convinced myself that an improv class would help. I figured even in the worst case scenario, I’d walk away feeling less nervous. (Best case scenario, I’d join SNL and fill the role of “stereotypical crazy person” in every other skit… HA! Of course that never happened.) Ultimately, I only stuck with improv for about a year, but I learned two extremely valuable lessons:
- How empowering/exhilarating owning a moment (good or bad) can be.
- The power of a pause.
Here are the basic rules of improvisation (according to Tina Fey):
– AGREE… Always agree, don’t deny, and respect what your partner has created.
– YES, AND… It’s your responsibility to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding to the discussion.
– MAKE STATEMENTS… Don’t ask questions all of the time. Whatever the problem, be part of the solution.
– THERE ARE NO MISTAKES… …only opportunities.
Building on the idea from my last post of loving your fate, it’s pretty cool how sweet things can turn out when you embrace what is – particularly the things that you can’t control. The kicker with the rule of YES, AND…. though, is that it goes beyond embracing… you can’t be afraid to contribute as well. As Tina Fey reminds us, “Your initiations are worthwhile.”
If you’ve read my previous posts and you’re still following me, (GOD BLESS ALL 5 OF YOU! Just kidding, I actually have no idea who is reading this craziness…), the general trend of this blog has been to highlight different concepts worth considering as a way to take ACTIONABLE (and hopefully effective) steps towards growth.
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In the grand scheme of things, it’s easy to agree or disagree with someone/something. But to BE the artist instead of the critic? That’s going to require far more effort. This is not to suggest that an artist/performer is always right! This is also not to suggest that the archetypal “wheel” requires constant reinvention… No!
(By the way, the Teddy Roosevelt quote I shared with “The Switch” was ALL ABOUT THIS. Go re-read it if you forgot!)
Bottom line, I think YES, AND… is worth it more times than not. It’s freeing to surrender to what you can’t control. Being playful is fun. And taking the initiative to contribute not only builds connection, but humility.
Not to mention, YES, AND… often brings a surprising amount of composure to situations filled with uncertainty. Needless to say, I hope you try it.
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One quick thing to share until next time…
“My eyes are tuned to observing where I want to be, not where I do not. Once I started seeking goodness, I became near blinded by happiness.
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Q: What does happiness look like?
A: It looks like whatever puts a smile on your soul along with another’s.”
– “Freedom from Entitlement”, Brian Chontosh Instagram post from 11/2
@tosh.crookedbutterfly